Ivan Nemytchenko's wroclove.rb 2024 single-speaker talk. Argues service objects are a 'strange, controversial and harmful' abstraction that contradicts layered architecture, modularity and the single responsibility principle. Structure: (1) introduces his 'OOP in Pictures' visual ontology (objects as little dudes with robo-arms and fingers, classes as spawning platforms with cartridges) to expose antipatterns visually; (2) surveys ~a dozen developer articles and finds service objects claimed to improve maintainability, testability, modularity and SRP, but in practice just 'do stuff' — validations, entity creation, mutations, mailer calls, external API wrappers, authentication logic; (3) constructs a 'service ruler' from Martin Fowler's Service Layer (Patterns of Enterprise Application Architecture), Eric Evans' Domain Services (DDD), and Robert Martin's Clean Code service notes — stateless, named for an activity, represent business domain operations, coordinate domain objects, control transactions, comply with SRP, have side effects — and measures each example, finding none satisfy the rules; (4) shows real GitLab service objects growing inward over time into 200-line monsters, inheriting from BaseService, stealing controller responsibilities, mixing application and domain logic, calling other services and forming circular dependencies; (5) proposes giving each kind of work its own shelf: business rules in the model, low-level creation logic in a Mutator layer, external-system interaction in a Manager layer, business operations as procedural (stateless) services of one high-level abstraction, and application logic (permissions, session, response prep) kept in the controller. Walks through refactoring an authentication service, plus the six opening examples, into this layered shape. Closes that this achieves real modularity, layered architecture and SRP with smaller, simpler building blocks. Q&A covers over-engineering risk, when to use OOP vs procedural, the interactor gem, real-world application, and relation to his unfinished Painless Rails book.